If you've seen a dance before...if you've seen a dance called two human beings turning towards each other and supporting and caring and honoring each other then hopefully it's easier for you to then have that memory and maybe know that that dance is possible and reproduce it. You have some sort of resource - you know it's possible. If you've never seen that dance (that many of us haven't) and you don't even know what the dance looks like it's OK. Even if you have never seen what a good relationship looks like (I ended my first marriage) and you have had negative parenting (like I had) you can still turn and find a partner and you can still start to develop a loving bond. Oftentimes the longing for this connection is so powerful that if people get half the chance (like I did) even if they have never really seen it in action (and some part of their brains says it doesn't even exist), if they get half the chance they will risk and reach for it. And if they get a positive response they will risk and reach again. So even if you have had negative experiences in your past you can learn to do this. You can learn to trust and open up and reach and love. And when you do it grows you. It literally grows you as a person. People in secure relationships feel better about themselves, they have a more articulated view of who they are, they trust themselves more, they are more resilient if they face failure.
History does not have to repeat.
I made sure of that.
I took back my heart -
no longer theirs to break.
December 2000 my inner voice whispered...
"It's time to take a risk sweetheart."
So I bravely...
Turned, reached and risked.
Stay true to your inner voice my friends.
It will lead you to your dream.